balancing worry & trust

For now, while the thought crosses my mind to be fully open and honest, here is my personal struggle at the moment.

I am trying to balance worry and trust. It is so easy to let things we do not understand get in the way of trusting in the Lord. I have worries about my long term recovery and how this brain injury will change me for the rest of my life. Will this "new" me be the 'me' I have to live with for the rest of my life? Can I be honest and say there are many times where I really miss the old me? I hate getting so tired so easily, being foggy headed, the aches and pains, and the episodes my body goes through when I am overwhelmed. The "new" me is exhausted and tired. I want to go back to the old me where things were easier and my body worked. My hubby and I have to look into changes we might have to make to prepare ourselves in case that I don't fully recover. These changes are challenging and difficult. These are the things I worry about.

God gave us great examles to help us learn about worry and trust; and one I want to discuss here is the story of Joseph. Here's a very-very-short recap of the story of Joseph. I do not indend to cover all the details, but think it wise to summarize in case you don't know his story. Genesis 37-50 is the full story... very long, so I will try to keep it short

--------------------------story begin----------------------

Jacob had 12 sons from a few different women (yea, crazy huh?). And, even though Jacob had 12 sons, he favored Joseph because he was the first son born through Rachel (whom Jacob loved very much). The 11 other sons hated Joseph because he was handsome, he was favored by dad, and he had dreams that he would one day rule over his brothers. So, one day the 11 brothers had had enough of Joseph and, even though they wanted to kill Joseph, they sold him instead to Ishmaelites on their way to Egypt. Once in Egypt, Joseph was sold again to an officer of the Pharoah, his name Potiphar. Joseph caught the eye of his master's wife, and when he refused to sleep with her, she got mad, retaliated, and Joseph ended up in prison. While in prison, Joseph interprets the Pharoah's chief cupbearer and cheif bakers dreams and correctly predicted the future. Later on, while still in prison, the Pharoah has a dream that no one could interpret. The cheif cupbearer remembered Joseph and told Pharoah to ask Joseph to interpret his dream. Pharoah was so pleased that he put Joseph as his right hand man. Joseph, once again, predicted correctly a dream: 7 years of great plenty and 7 years of famine. The Pharoah prepared ahead of time to save up rations of food to sell once the famine started. During the 7 years of famine, Joseph's brothers go to Egypt for food. They had to go to Joseph! After some chapters of shenanigans... Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. Pharoah was pleased that Joseph had predicted the famine, and he said to Joseph, the best of all of Egypt belongs to you! So off Jacob goes, he is reunited with his father Jacob, with the best of all Pharoah had to offer them: land, food, livestock, and more. Much later when Jacob was old and about to die, the brothers worried that Joseph would finally repay their evil. Joseph, the good man that he was, chose not to repay their evil with evil. Joseph said, " 'As for you (my brothers), you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.' Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them." (Genesis 50: 20-21)

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What a story if you get the chance to read it all.

Joseph was sold as a prisoner by his hatred filled brothers. Yet, as the story unfolds, we see how God had His hand on Joseph the whole time. Joseph didn’t know why God had chosen this path for his life until the very end, BUT he never wavered from trusting God. Joseph kept his eyes on God, and because of this, God blessed Joseph. God is always in control. What can we can learn from this? That we need to let God use us where we are: in the hard times and the good times.

Let's work on trusting in the Lord together. God is always in control.

Bible Verses to Ponder:

Genesis 39: 21-23

But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in the prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it. The keeper of the prison paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph's charge, because the Lord was with him. And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed.

Genesis 45: 7-8

And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God.

Oh yeah... and happy Valentine's Day. You are loved!