christmas cookies & giggles with JoJo
My momma, my sister Lauren, my niece JoJo, and I got to make Christmas cookies today. The picture on the right is me cheesin' for a pic with my baby niece Josephine aka JoJo. We were having a great time giggling together today. There's nothing like the awesomeness of laughter with a baby. And...
after a difficult day yesterday, this was perfect.
I have learned that since the car accident, doing new things have been a big challenge for me. To help make things easier, I typically wear sunglasses and ear plugs when I know the places I will be at are brightly lit or loud.
Yesterday, I went to the Christmas service at my parents church. There were lots of new things for me yesterday: new church, new building, new faces, new sounds and noises. With so much unfamiliair, this was extremely overwhelming for my brain to handle. I had a small melt down shortly after arriving to church. While some of you have seen this, there are some who have not. For those who have not, I will try to describe what happens best I can.
When my brain gets overwhelmed (and this can be caused by a ton of different things), almost immediately a "shut down/melt down" occurs. I loose my speech or it becomes very robotic and slow. I have trouble using my arms and legs. Sometimes I cannot control my left arm at all. Sometimes my left arm shakes uncontrollably and my hand clamps into a tight ball that I cannot let it go. Typically I need help getting to a quiet/isolated area because I become frozen. It is difficult because I cannot use my speech to indicate that I need help. Most of the time I cry during a melt down. My TBI (traumatic brain injury) has triggered something in my brain to make me cry way more than I did before.
As my melt down in the foyer of the church began, my parents and sister helped get me into a conference room that wasn't being used. It was quiet and the light was turned down low. (This is what helps me calm down.) After about 20 minutes I was "ok". My speech had returned enough, even though it was still quite robotic. After all the music for the service was over (loud music is very difficult for me) I decided I wanted to hear the sermon so my dad helped get me to the sanctuary. We listened to the pastor tell the story of Christ's birth in the book of Luke.
After the service was over, as everyone filtered out of the sanctuary into the foyer area, I met one of the pastors from the church and briefly said hi to an old friend from high school. This was enough to set me off into a full blown melt down. Both of my arms were shaking, I began crying, and could not speak at all. These melt downs are still scary for me because I cannot communicate that I need help getting to a quiet/low key area. My parents did a great job helping get me out to the car and then home.
I don't tell you this to scare you or to make you feel bad. I tell you this because I hope that sharing my story can be helpful for someone who is going through a tough time. I want that person to know they are not alone and that there is someone out there that can bring peace and comfort. I want that person who is struggling to know that there is someone who loves them with an unconditional love.
I hope this accident will serve a greater purpose than only leading me to a stronger faith. Life has so much more meaning and purpose to me now, but I hope it can be an encouragement for anyone going through tough times. Life is short, it can be taken in an instant. I want to make sure that this second chance I have is used sharing the good news of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He, and He alone, can save you if you just believe in Him.
Peace and comfort I pray for you this Christmas.
And... maybe a smile because of my cheesin' so big with a giggling baby.
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“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified ... for the Lord your God goes with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
